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The Jane Report

by Dom and Jane posted Aug 8 2013 6:01AM

A woman saw Mark Wahlberg on the street, screamed "Matt Damon!" and asked for a picture.  So Mark took a picture with her and her friend, and didn't even bother to correct her.  The woman later found out it was Mark, not Matt, so she posted the picture online and said, quote, "He didn't correct us at all.  Lmao."  And Mark was cool enough to re-post her pictures on Facebook, along with the caption, "Close enough." 

Jennifer Aniston was on "The Talk" yesterday, and she ripped into the tabloids for making up stories about her.  Specifically, about this wedding she was supposed to have, that supposedly got canceled.  She said there was never a wedding planned, and everything in the tabloids is a deliberate lie.
Jennifer talked about getting a taste of life as a pseudo-mom in her latest comedy, We're the Millers. Because she plays a stripper who poses as a married mother of two, the 44-year-old actress has often been asked about when she plans to have a baby of her own with Justin Theroux, her fiance of nearly a year. During an Aug. 7 ABC News interview, Aniston said she gets frustrated when journalists ask questions about her film family by "trying to relate it to the movie with, 'Oh, if I was to have a child how many kids do I want?' And 'do I want a boy or a girl?'" The once-wed star then joked, "I didn't realize you could place orders! I honestly didn't realize it was like a drive-through, that you could talk to a little electronic voice." The actress said she tries her best to ignore stories about her desire to start a family with Theroux, 41. "I surround myself with my amazing work, my amazing friends, my amazing partner, my beautiful dogs, and I tune that noise out. I mean, I think it's very sweet that people want everything for me," she explained, noting that she's "so content and happy" as is.
Simon Cowell's relationship with Lauren Silverman was going on right under Andrew Silverman's nose, and he at the very least "kinda knew" what was going on ... this according to friends of the couple. Lauren would spend hours on the phone at her home talking to Simon, and Andrew heard the whole thing.  Several of their friends tell us they believe Andrew knew that Simon was banging his wife, and they think the outrage he's expressing now is a giant crock.  Several sources close to Andrew shade the story slightly differently.  They say Andrew is telling them looking back there were plenty of "warning signs" but he just didn't pick up on them.  They also acknowledge Andrew knew that Simon and Lauren were "flirting," but he didn't think that necessarily meant they were sleeping together.  As for settling the divorce ... we're told they're still at an impasse, but continue to talk.
Someone took Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" and mashed it up with clips from "Fat Albert".  You know you wish you had thought of it.  (It's basically just the original song, but with Fat Albert saying "Hey, hey, hey" in all the places where Robin's backup singers have that line.) 
The Detroit Tigers played the Cleveland Indians last night.  It was a baseball game, so you don't care who won.  But in the ninth inning the game was tied, and a few Detroit fans started up a "Let's go Tigers" chant.  So the Cleveland fans decided to take it below the belt.  (They chanted back, "Detroit's bankrupt.")
A new song off Lady Gaga's next album just got leaked.  It's either called "Burqa" or "Aura", depending on where you get your information. And Gaga's not happy about it.  When asked about the leak on her fan-site, Lady Gaga reportedly said that it's a DEMO . . . not a finished version . . . and added, quote, "Please take these [links] down as much as possible."
Kris Jenner had Joan Rivers on her talk show yesterday as a guest co-host.  Kris sat there and talked to the woman throughout the whole show, and at the very end she called Joan by the WRONG NAME.  She read it right off the teleprompter without thinking, and said "John" instead of "Joan."  Joan came back and said "John" was her lesbian name. 

There are conflicting reports as to how Lindsay Lohan acted in rehab.  But no matter what's true, Lindsay was such a DEMON that she actually chased away the legendary Chaka Khan.  Chaka Khan.  The story goes that when Chaka arrived at the Malibu clinic she was totally humble and cool.  But then Lindsay came in and went all DIVA on everybody, including Chaka.  A source says, quote, "Lindsay just pushed all of her buttons to the point where she was aggravated and tired of Lindsay's [crap].  Lindsay was just doing stupid stuff for attention, so Chaka told her she was childish and told her to grow up.  "She started yelling at Lindsay.  Told her to knock it off, asking her if she came to rehab to get well, or just to piss around."  Staff had to schedule things so that Lindsay and Chaka had as little contact as possible.  But that STILL wasn't enough.  Chaka left a week early because she couldn't stand Lindsay.
Usher's son Usher Raymond The Fifth is recovering after almost drowning on Monday.  And Usher issued a statement yesterday.  He said, quote, "I am blessed and fortunate to say that my son Usher the Fifth is doing well and is recovering.  I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of prayers, love and support for my family's well-being. I would like to thank my Aunt Rena as well as the doctors and nurses who are working with us around the clock.  I would especially like to thank the two men who saved my son's life, Eugene Stachurski and Ben Crews.  They are true heroes and I am deeply grateful to them." Meanwhile, the emergency custody hearing that Usher's ex-wife Tameka requested will take place TOMORROW.  Tameka thinks Monday's incident proves that Usher isn't adequately caring for Usher the Fifth or his younger brother.
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08/08/2013 6:25AM
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