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The Jane Report

by Dom and Jane posted Aug 2 2013 5:43AM

It's been a while since Ke$ha shared something that no one actually wanted to know, but this week, she's back with a bang. The singer reportedly confessed to Heat that she was born with a tail.  "I had a tail when I was born," Ke$ha said. "It was a tiny tail, about a quarter of an inch, then they chopped it off and stole my tail. That was when I was little. I'm really sad about that story."  All humans have tails very early on in their development, as fetuses. Very, very rarely, children do not lose their tails in development and are born with what are known as "soft tails," which contain blood vessels, nerves, and muscles, but no vertebrae.  So if Ke$ha really did have a tail, she wouldn't have been able to wag it.

Simon Cowell's FORMER good buddy claims Mr. 'X Factor' was sticking it to his wife before they parted ways ... and that's why he's accusing Cowell of adultery.  We know real estate mogul Andrew Silverman isn't buying what Simon is selling -- that he didn't lay a finger or any other part on Lauren Silverman until after the split.  Andrew, we're told, just wants out of the marriage and away from Lauren and Simon, and he's willing to settle custody and financial issues quickly.  For now, he's asking for full custody of their 7-year-old son, but it appears from what we know that's a negotiable point.  A source close to Lauren said Lauren and her husband were over before she and Simon entered into any kind of relationship.  Adultery aside, a bunch of English folks were asked about the "Bro Code" rules in the U.K., and Simon squarely violated it. 

In divorce papers filed two weeks ago, Andrew Silverman names Cowell as a co-respondent and says the divorce from wife Lauren is based on adultery, the New York Post reports.  What exactly does that mean? "It’s really a signal to the spouse who cheated that the wronged spouse is very angry and that it’s going to be a very nasty, scorched-earth, high-profile litigation," says a divorce attorney.  Another top attorney agrees that the move is "very nasty," so expect this story to drag on for a while yet. Lauren "is a total gold digger," one friend tells the Post; another adds that her pregnancy by Cowell "was by design."  Contrary to initial reports, she was not estranged from her husband when she started seeing Cowell, friends say; in fact, Andrew had just upgraded her engagement ring with a 10-carat diamond.  All the dirty details could end up being aired on the witness stand, as Cowell might be forced to testify. Sources tell the Daily Mail he's hired top LA attorney Marty Singer, and in case you were wondering about his mental state regarding impending fatherhood, he's reportedly "freaked out." Unless you trust the Post's sources more, in which case he's "thrilled."
Carmen Electra was asked about Simon Cowell's baby situation on Wednesday night.  She's pretty optimistic about it.  She says she thinks he'll be a fantastic father.  She says she wasn't involved with him in the way people thought.  But he's a good friend and she's really happy for him. 
Jamie Lee Curtis got in a serious car accident Thursday ... and was taken by ambulance to a hospital ... after Jodie Foster came to the rescue.  The accident occurred in a highly trafficked area of Venice, CA Thursday morning.  Jamie was a passenger in a black Yukon SUV, which crashed into a BMW.  Two people -- including Jamie -- were taken in 2 separate ambulances to the ER.  We're told Jamie's injuries were minor ... and she's already home and resting.  As for the other person, we're told the injuries were more serious.  Now get this, a witness said immediately after the crash, Jamie called Jodie Foster, who showed up almost immediately -- just like out of a movie.
Justin Bieber's manager Scooter Braun is sick and tired of Lil Twist bringing Bieber down -- in fact, he wants Bieber to sever ties with the rapper entirely once and for all, but Bieber is STILL fighting to keep him around.  As we reported, Twist has been accused of battering some girl at Bieber's Calabasas mansion Thursday morning -- but it's only the latest example of Twist's reckless behavior. A list that includes smoking pot, driving like a lunatic, and getting a DUI.  Bieber has refused to turn his back on Twist once already -- but Scooter has had enough, telling Bieber the battery allegations are the last straw.  We're told Scooter is putting his foot down, insisting Twist is nothing but a parasite sucking Bieber dry -- and the singer needs to drop him like a hot potato stat, before he does any more damage.  But stupidly, Bieber is still sticking by his buddy -- in fact, we're told he and Scooter had a blowout fight on Thursday when Scooter said Twist had to go.  Which means Twist's days are numbered -- because in a fight between Scooter and Twist, Bieber will almost certainly side with his trusted manager. He'd be dumb not to. Then again, dumb has kinda been Bieber's M.O. recently. 

Conan O'Brien made fun of Justin Bieber for putting a fan's smartphone in his pants during a concert.  Conan says in related news, Justin is now third place in the race for New York City mayor.  
Oprah Winfrey was a guest on "Letterman" last night, for the first time in eight years.  She talked about meditation, and Dave tried to convince her that he was into it too.  She asked him if he meditated, and then said, quote, "I can tell you don't. Never mind."
They spent a lot of time talking about meditation, and what they both got out of it.  Dave wasn't taking it very seriously.  (He said his meditation time was when he went to the dentist and got the gas.  Then Oprah said you need something in life that works like meditation, even if it's just quiet reflection or hugging your pets.  And Dave suggested vodka and pills.) 
Amanda Bynes lost her bid for freedom yesterday.  In a hearing that took place in the hospital psych ward, a judge decided that Amanda is NOT ready to be released just yet.  Mostly because she isn't totally stable yet, and her condition hasn't been formally diagnosed.  Amanda was hospitalized a week and a half ago, after starting a fire in a woman's driveway.  She was originally placed on a 72-hour involuntary hold, but doctors got a judge to extend her stay for another two weeks. The news isn't necessarily all bad.  Sources say the meds Amanda is on are helping.  For instance, she's no longer talking to herself or insulting people.
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Location : New York CityVenice
08/02/2013 5:54AM
The Jane Report
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