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The Jane Report

by Dom and Jane posted Jul 18 2013 5:54AM

Honey Boo Boo is back on TV.  The season premiere was last night.  Apparently she's into pro wrestling, so she and the family went to visit some local wrestlers.  She told them about her secret weapon for wrestling . . . the "Cup-a-Fart."  (She says it's when you break wind into your hand, and "throw it" at your opponent.)  Then her dad Sugar Bear demonstrates, and it clears the room.

Cory Monteith was cremated this week following a private viewing in his home country of Canada.  His girlfriend Lea Michele was among the mourners, but his father Joe Monteith was not.  Joe and Cory's mother Ann are divorced, and there's obviously some bad blood there.  But Joe says, quote, "I always loved both my sons and am going to miss Cory very, very much.  I'm saddened at the fact that I couldn't have been there to see my son before he was cremated."  Meanwhile, there's been some talk that Cory was killed by a particularly potent strain of heroin that's laced with the painkiller fentanyl. It's apparently been causing an increase in overdoses in the Vancouver area.
Charlie Sheen is now officially the coolest grandfather-warlock on the planet -- TMZ has learned, his 28-year-old daughter Cassandra Estevez just gave birth to a baby girl named Luna.  In borderline poetry, Charlie said, "It's impossibly a most wondrous day. My bucket list is a thimble!"  The thimble metaphor is subject to interpretation, but it sounds like having a grandchild was one of the biggest items on Charlie's bucket list. In other words, the rest of his bucket list is so small, it's thimble-sized. But our guess is as good as yours.
Justin Bieber may be getting himself into one scandal after another these days (spitting again... really?!?), but the singer is really just a mother's boy at heart. And he has proven as much via his latest tattoo, which Justin just Instagrammed and which features an observatory body part of his mom.  "@bangbangnyc did this art ., Moms always watching," the Biebs wrote as a caption to the photo, which depicts Pattie Mallette's eyeball and eyelashes. Also included around this ink? The word "believe," a knight in body armor standing in front of a castle and the open mouth of a tiger.
The "MTV Video Music Award" nominees were announced yesterday . . . and Justin Timberlake and Macklemore & Ryan Lewis led the way with six nominations apiece.  Bruno Mars followed with four . . . while Robin Thicke, Miley Cyrus, Pink, and Thirty Seconds To Mars each scored three.   In addition to the 15 categories announced today, nominees for another, new category called "Best Song of the Summer" will be revealed on August 12th.  This year's ceremony goes down on Sunday, August 25th.  There's no word on a host or any performers yet.  Voting is open now at
Randy Travis' brother David Traywick was arrested on Tuesday night when cops found a one-pot meth lab inside his house.  He's supposed to be in court today, on a charge of conspiracy to traffic meth. (A one-pot setup is used for what's called the "shake and bake" method.  Literally, you shake the ingredients up in a plastic bottle.  It's extremely dangerous, and the mixture can easily explode right in your hands.)
The Huffington Post looked at all the various "hottest women" lists that have come out this year to determine which women are showing up the most, and in the highest positions.  And they determined that Jennifer Lawrence is the hottest woman of 2013.  She's followed by Mila Kunis and Rihanna.
If you're a guy, and you're looking for a reason to hate Jason Sudeikis, here it is:  You see, Jason has been losing some weight recently.  And he tells "Elle" magazine that his workout regimen is SEX with his girlfriend Olivia Wilde.  He says, quote, "The truth is, I'm not getting up an hour earlier and walking on a treadmill.  I have the greatest workout partner in the world.  And you don't need a gym membership for that kind of workout."  Jason also admits that his college crush was Ellen Degeneres.  He says, quote, "It was 100% for real.  It was the gorgeous blue eyes.   And she's hilarious.  That's all it takes for me."
Filed Under :
Topics : Human Interest
Location : Vancouver
07/18/2013 5:54AM
The Jane Report
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