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The Jane Report

by Dom and Jane posted Aug 22 2013 6:31AM

There will be no grandiose wedding affair for Kelly Clarkson and Brandon Blackstock. Despite original plans for an "earthy" outdoor fall wedding at home, the singer revealed to PEOPLE on Wednesday, "We are so busy that we finally just came to terms the other night and were like, 'So, we change our minds and we want to elope.' We just got so overwhelmed by it – all the decisions."    

When the musically inclined pair finally made their decision about how to say "I do," they "sent out an engagement photo to everyone and said, 'Thank you so much for understanding, but it's just going to be me and Brandon and his two kids and the minister,' " Clarkson says.  And even after they elope, an extravagant fête is the furthest thing from their minds. Our lives are so in the spotlight all the time. Everything is such a spectacle, we were like, 'We would rather have an intimate moment that's special.' "  "We're going to do that anyway," she says. "Our friend is throwing us [a party] because we're about to wrap up construction at our house. He's throwing us a huge stock the bar party, so all of the people who were going to be at our wedding will be there."
Now that the "Twilight" movies are over, Robert Pattinson is free to bite the hand that fed him.  And it sounds like that's exactly what he's doing.  In an interview with a German magazine, he said, quote, "The really odd thing about this 'Twilight' target group is that they aren't really teenagers.  Most of them are older.  "'Twilight' has its own parallel world, its own fan culture that has been forming on the net since day one.  And in an intense way that has never existed before.  "Sometimes I ask myself what these masses of people do the whole day.  They sit in front of their computers and comment on anything having even remotely to do with 'Twilight'."  
When you get pulled over for going a few miles per hour over the speed limit or having a broken tail light, a sense of humor sometimes helps to relieve the tension.  But when you get nailed for DRUNK DRIVING, is it appropriate to crack jokes?  "Partridge Family" superstar David Cassidy thought so.  Cassidy was pulled over near Albany, New York yesterday morning, and the cop's name was Tom Jones.  And when Cassidy noticed that, he actually asked the cop, quote, "What's new, pussycat" . . . which is a CLASSIC song by the SINGER Tom Jones.  There's no word whether OFFICER Jones found it funny.  What's NOT funny though, is that Cassidy was driving with a .10% blood-alcohol level . . . and that he's facing FELONY drunk driving charges because of a prior DUI in Florida. 
The best part of Kylie Jenner's Sweet 16 party this weekend? LEAVING ... because on their way out, 150+ guests received insane parting gifts -- in the form of luxury goodie bags valued at over $1000 each -- and TMZ has pics of the loot.  Kylie rung in the big 1-6 this Saturday at the AT&T Building in L.A. with her family and other celebs -- like Drake and Big Sean -- and seeing as she's hitting her peak in life, Kylie naturally pulled out all the stops.  But the parting gifts were the coolest part -- the youngest Kardashian family member handed out swag bags filled with 808 headphones, iPod speakers, Kardashian brand makeup, jewelry from her own jewelry line, gift cards, and a bunch of other crap.  Each bag is valued at more than $1000 a pop -- and with over 150 guests at the shindig, that's a big investment in trinkets.  But it probably didn't come out of Kylie's pocket -- fact is, the Kardashian/Jenner name is such a big deal, vendors undoubtedly donated their stuff for free hoping to get their brands in the press. And congrats, it worked.
Last night on Duck Dynasty, Si talked about what it was like being an old school ladies' man . . . and what it took to woo the women he was into.
Here comes the story of Bob Dylan's hair ... which apparently belongs to the ex-wife of Black Keys singer Dan Auerbach. Seriously. Auerbach's extremely bitter divorce with Stephanie Gonis was finalized this week in Tennessee ... after the warring couple came to terms on splitting up their assets. First, the money: She gets more than $5 million.  Plus, she gets the couple's 2012 Toyota Highlander and one of the family homes.  But who cares, because the real story here is BOB DYLAN'S HAIR.  According to the divorce docs, the couple owns an asset described as "Bob Dylan Hair."  It's unclear how the hair was obtained ... when it was obtained ... if the hair contains any product ... etc. -- but the point is, Dan agreed to part ways with it in the divorce.  Translation -- Stephanie, congrats ... you are the owner of a weird freaky piece of music memorabilia!!!!  
We told you there’d be more stars aligning for the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards, didn’t we? Drake has been added to the performance lineup of Sunday’s (Aug. 25) show, while newly announced presenters include Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez. Actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt and comedian Kevin Hart are also newly added to the event, being held at Brooklyn, N.Y.’s Barclays Center. With an amazing performers’ lineup that already includes Justin Timberlake, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Robin Thicke and Kanye West, will there be any time left for surprises, say, of the legendary boy-band variety (please please PLEASE)?  One thing we do know about the show is that the more celebrities there are, the more opportunities for craziness to go down. Now that they’ve been confirmed to be at the same event, will T. Swizzle bust into Yeezy’s act? Will Taylor and Selena thrown down over Justin Bieber? Tune in Sunday to find out!
So much for leaving the past in the past. It's been more than a decade since Sean "Diddy" Combs and Jennifer Lopez broke up, but it looks like there's still some lingering awkwardness between the former loves. A source tells Us Weekly exclusively that Combs, 43, was in contention for the third spot on American Idol's season 13 judging panel -- until his ex-girlfriend signed on to fill the second spot. The source says that the hip hop mogul passed on the opportunity because of his apparently not-so-ancient history with Lopez, as well as his history with Lopez's manager, Benny Medina. (Medina also previously managed Combs; they parted ways several years ago.)

Ultimately, the Dirty Money rapper "felt it was a 'her or me' situation," the insider tells Us. And producers went after her. (As previously reported, Lopez, who served on the panel in 2011 and 2012, will join returning judge Keith Urban for the upcoming season.)  In response, a rep for Combs tells Us it's "not true" that Diddy declined the gig because of Lopez or Medina.  Incidentally, Lopez and Combs had a near run-in on Idol last year, when he appeared as a guest mentor during a March episode of the reality competition. Combs' work with the show's singers was pre-taped, but Lopez appeared flustered by her former flame's involvement anyway.  Speaking about the rapper's mentoring work with Idol's season 11 contestants, the "Dance Again" singer took a long, uncomfortable pause when she had to speak her ex's name. "I was going to say Puffy," she said, laughing, before dropping her head in embarrassment. Lopez and Combs dated from 1999 to 2001, back when he was known as Puff Daddy or Puffy; after their split, she began a romance with Ben Affleck.
A writer for Vice dot com got to attend Corey Feldman's 42nd birthday party and write about it . . . but only on the condition that Corey have FINAL EDIT on the article. So the guy wrote what appears to be a positive piece about the party . . . but it actually sounds pretty sarcastic . . . like this line . . ."Ron Jeremy, Tom Green, Woody Harrelson, and Chris Kirkpatrick have all previously been spotted at Corey's parties. "When I found out that the hottest names in Hollywood were going to be living it up in a mansion with some of the hottest [B-words] on the planet I knew I had to see that [crap] with my own two eyes."  The writer also notes that Corey is trying to become the next Hugh Hefner, by populating his parties with a group of women he calls "Corey's Angels". He's going to throw several parties a year with the policy that women get in free . . . IF they're pre-approved by Corey and IF they're willing to wear lingerie all night.  Guys have to pay $250.
08/22/2013 6:31AM
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