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The Jane Report

by Dom and Jane posted Sep 9 2013 5:48AM

Yesterday, the NFL announced that Bruno Mars will headline this season's Super Bowl halftime show on February 2nd. Bruno appeared in a live broadcast of Fox's "NFL Sunday" to make it official.  He described the gig as, quote, "an honor." Beyoncé headlined the last Super Bowl halftime show earlier this year.   Naturally, some people don't like the Bruno choice, and some are using the rationale that he's not enough of a LOCAL, which seems ridiculous. The game is being played in New Jersey, and Bruno was born and raised in Honolulu.  But . . . who cares?  

Eminem did an interview with Brent Musburger and Kirk Herbstreit at halftime of the Michigan-Notre Dame game on Saturday night.  And he kind of bombed.  Maybe on purpose.  He started off by staring with his eyes wide open, just swaying back and forth while the announcers were talking about him.  Then he told them he wasn't excited about anything in his new album, except being done with it.  At the end he said Brent Musburger was on his, quote, "fantasy announcer team."

Coldplay just released a new song called "Atlas", which will be on the soundtrack from the new "Hunger Games" movie. The movie is called "The Hunger Games: Catching Fire", and it'll be out in November.
When you're so old you have to ride a scooter at an amusement park, how do you make yourself look LESS old and feeble? By making your much-younger girlfriend ride one, too.  Then it looks less like a necessity and more like two lovers sharing an interest in, well, SCOOTING, I guess.  87-year-old Hugh Hefner and 27-year-old Crystal Harris scooted their way through Disneyland on Friday. 
You're probably thinking that Simon Cowell's unborn child hit the genetic jackpot.  But maybe not.  In a recent interview with "Esquire UK", Simon claims he doesn't want to leave ANYTHING to his offspring.  We don't know if the interview was conducted before or after Simon found out he was going to be a dad, but here's what he said . . . quote, "I'm going to leave my money to somebody.  A charity, probably . . . kids and dogs. I don't believe in passing on from one generation to another."  He added, quote, "Your legacy has to be that hopefully you gave enough people an opportunity, so that they could do well, and you gave them your time, taught them what you know."  

Meanwhile, Simon will be on "Ellen" tomorrow.  The interview was pre-taped, and Simon said he's, quote, "happier than [he's] ever been."  He also defended his baby-mama, Lauren Silverman.  He said, quote, "There was a lot of stuff said about her, that she trapped me and that she's a gold digger.  Absolute nonsense.  She's a great girl."
Brian Austin Green knows the secret to keeping his pregnant wife, Megan Fox, happy — “I just do whatever she asks for and I say ‘Yes,’ no matter what it may be.”  The Transformers star, 27, is expecting the couple’s second child together, and Green, 40, admitted that Fox wasn’t feeling well enough to accompany him at the 5th Annual Night of Generosity at the Beverly Hills Hotel on Friday.  But despite her no-show, Green told reporters that his wife of three years is “doing great.”  The couple, who are already parents to son Noah Shannon, 11 months, are prepping for the new arrival but Green admits he isn’t sure how they’ll manage juggling a toddler, a new baby and his job on Anger Management.  “We honestly have no idea and we discuss it daily and think, ‘How are we going to do this?’” he said. “I think we’ll see when it happens. People do it all the time.”  But at least Green has an understanding boss in his sitcom’s star, Charlie Sheen. “I couldn’t really ask for a better situation than that,” Green said. “[Charlie's] one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met and worked with.”
To Lady Gaga, a giant egg is performance art.  To Dr. Phil, it's a Fountain Of Youth.  Dr. Phil spends time in an egg-shaped, pressurized device called a CVAC.  That stands for Cyclic Variations in Adaptive Conditioning.  It uses air pressure to compress the muscles at regular intervals, which supposedly improves circulation, stimulates stem cell production and produces other health benefits.  The thing costs at least $65,000, and Phil has one in his house.  He's not the only celebrity who uses one.  Novak Djokovic, the number one tennis player in the world, is also a fan.  Sources say Phil got one because he's "very active", and it helps with his shoulder and knee problems.  Phil just turned 63 on the first of this month.
Jennifer Love Hewitt and fiance Brian Hallisay were involved in a pasta-fueled confrontation with a photog Friday night ... and cops have launched a criminal investigation.  JLH and Brian were leaving the always-delicious Toscana restaurant in Brentwood when a pesky paparazzo prepared to snap some pics.   We're told the couple asked the photog to lay off, but he ignored them and started snapping away.  Hallisay then allegedly got into it with the cameraman, and during the scuffle the photog claims the camera hit him in the face -- near his eye.   Apparently Jen -- who is pregnant -- felt so bad she let the photog snap a few more pics ... and then she and Hallisay left.  Unlike Toscana's rigatoni, the confrontation didn't go down well with the photog, because law enforcement sources tell us he went to the cop shop a few hours later and filed a battery report against Hallisay.  Our sources say when he came to the station there was no visible injury to his face or eye. The investigation is ongoing. 
Flavorwire dot com has put out a list of 'The 25 Most Memorable Moments in TV History.' Most of the list is made up of reporting on current events, including the top three entries:  The Apollo 11 Moon Landing in 1969, the September 11th attacks in 2001 and Hurricane Katrina in 2005.  There were three entries from the '50s, seven from the '60s, three from the '70s, six from the '80s, three from the '90s, and only three since then.  

Here's the list:  
1.  The Apollo 11 Moon Landing, 1969
 2.  The September 11th Attacks, 2001 
3.  Hurricane Katrina, 2005  
4.  Walter Cronkite announcing the death of JFK, 1963  
5.  Walter Cronkite denouncing the Vietnam War, 1968  
6.  The Fall of the Berlin Wall, 1989  
7.  President Nixon resigning, 1974  
8.  The Kennedy / Nixon Debate, 1960  
9.  "Roots", 1977  
10.  The O.J. Simpson chase, 1994  
11.  The Beatles on "Ed Sullivan", 1964  

You might forgive Britain's royal protection unit for being a little jittery.  Two days after an intruder was discovered prowling around Buckingham Palace, police confronted Prince Andrew, the second son of Queen Elizabeth II, in the royal residence's garden and demanded he identify himself.   London's Metropolitan Police said in an email Sunday that they had apologized to Andrew, also known as the Duke of York, and the royal responded with a touch of humor.  "I am grateful for their apology and look forward to a safe walk in the garden in the future," he said in a statement.  Wednesday's embarrassing mix-up with the Duke followed an even more embarrassing security breach Monday, when an intruder was arrested after having scaled the fence around the palace. He and an alleged accomplice were arrested on suspicion of burglary and conspiracy to commit burglary, respectively.  The confrontation between the Duke and police was first reported by Britain's Sunday Express tabloid, which reported it under the eye-catching headline: "Prince Andrew Held at Gunpoint". Although the Met's royal protection officers do sometimes carry weapons, the force denied the paper's assertion that Andrew had guns pointed at him, insisting that no weapons were ever drawn.  In comments to BBC television, former royal protection officer Dai Davies cautioned that, even if the story had been blown out of proportion by the press, the incident "does sound a little unusual."
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09/09/2013 5:48AM
The Jane Report
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